state of the world

Out of the 6.5 billion people in this world, roughly half (or 3.25 billion people) are women. Although this number may be slightly higher or lower, nature keeps a close balance on this ratio for procreation purposes. So with a nearly identical number of men and women on this planet, do society and men in general treat women properly and equally?

Many will say, that here in the western countries, women are indeed treated fairly. We don’t make them wear a burqa, or publicly execute them for infidelity. But just because our society does not follow such drastic customs, doesn’t mean that we treat them correctly. Our being slightly better, does not make us right.

One of the first topics that jump to the mind is how at an early age, certain traits and habits are either encouraged or discouraged, exclusively by the sex of a child. Boys are encouraged to be tough, play sports, be outgoing, and strive for the education and career; while subjects such as child-rearing, sensitivity, and showing of emotions are either not brought up, or dismissed as too feminine.

Young girls are brought up with the idea of being proper, not being aggressive, and made to believe that their wedding day will be the defining moment of their life; that a “good” husband is a symbol of the woman’s worthiness.

But what is a "good" husband? He is someone who loves his family with all of his heart, and puts them first; not his career, not his individuality, not his material possessions. True love is what will cause one to sacrifice for others, without expecting anything in return. A family, and especially children, are a great responsibility, but can provide more joy in life than all of those other things put together. More importantly than being the monetary "provider", the man should accept the role as being a watch guard over the condition of his family’s emotional well-being, and take time to be with them, and show them love whenever possible. One may not be able to keep up with the Jones's without working 80 hours a week, but the time spent with family cannot be replaced with any amount of money.

The idea of a “good” husband being simply someone who provides monetary support must be abolished. We have seen many numerous cases in the media of CEO’s of major corporations under indictment for embezzling and other crimes. These men, were no doubt providing a great deal of money to their families, but would they be considered a good role model, or a good parent and spouse?

Women are told not to be opinionated or successful without a man. Women are not encouraged to follow the maths and sciences, and therefore don’t become scientists, engineers, or work in the financial fields in proportionate numbers; even though by test scores, they are better than men in these categories. They are expected to play the supporting role in a marriage, and not outshine their husband. Especially with newly immigrated people, the role of the woman is still hampered by the traditional "roles" that they are expected to fill. They are to only be a compliment to their husband, and provide children for him; that she alone will take care of.

In the areas of love, there are also distinct double standards for men and women. Promiscuity in men is admired and regarded as a sign of masculinity. But a woman that follows the same path is regarded as simply an object, not worthy of respect.

Women are also held to a double standard of love in relationships. The woman is made to believe that they must strive to maintain, or achieve, a certain physical figure, in order to be pleasing to a man. Men, in general, do not put nearly as much effort into their appearance, and society does not expect as much from them. This over-importance of a women’s outward appearance creates many insecurities in young women, which follow them throughout adulthood. They may feel that they are not worthy of being treated as an equal, and may in turn allow themselves to be mistreated by men.

Mistreatment does not only mean physical abuse, but can also include being regarded as an object, or not respected as an individual, who is just as capable at making decisions as a male counterpart. Women are made to believe it is their “duty” to satisfy their man, yet may never or rarely receive the same in return. If they don’t live up to this one-sided understanding; then they taught to believe that there is something wrong with them, and their husband is warranted in finding that elsewhere; either in another woman or with pornography. This just further identifies the woman as an object, simply to be looked as an object to fulfill her man’s desires, instead of a an equal person with feelings and desires of her own.

Many will even begin to justify or defend this mistreatment, because in the back of their mind, they somehow deserve it; as they must have done something wrong. The issues of self-esteem that may have been ingrained from an early age are what cause these feelings of culpability. Women who do not fit the image that they believe is desirable (blond, tall, thin, etc.) are made to feel that they must somehow enhance their appearance to be something special. Plastic surgery, breast enlargement, and liposuction are many of the drastic measures that our society has made women believe they must take, if they were not born with certain physical characteristics. We are missing the entire point, that the characteristics that really matter, are not seen with the naked eye. They are felt and shown with the heart.

This cycle of double standards repeats itself every generation, but is something that needed to be ended.

So we are back to our familiar question: What do we do now?

We need as a society, and particularly as parents, to stop enforcing and promoting these unhealthy stereotypes. Little girls should be taught to value their qualities and talents the same as boys. They should not be discouraged from following areas that they show interest in, because it may lead to a "man's" career. Fathers should show their wife love, emotion, and respect, so as to be a good example of what their daughters should look for in a man when she is older; and a good example to their sons as to how to properly treat a lady. They should be shown love and emotion by their parents in whatever they choose to follow with their life.

We should as parents, stop rushing our young daughters to have children. We want them to have children to “validate” their life or marriage, instead of letting them pursue their dreams and goals. Our wanting of grandchildren causes many fights and uncomfortable moments at family get-togethers, and is not really our place to demand. Having children is taken too lightly, as it is an awesome responsibility, not to be done to make others happy.

Our daughters should be told how special and beautiful they are exactly the way God made them; and not to let anyone tell them differently, or try and change them. They should be shown they are do not ever deserve to be treated unfairly or rudely, and should leave any relationship where that is happening. They should be taught to never settle, as they are worth so much more.

They should be taught that their love and bodies are something of great value, and not to give of it simply to be noticed or liked.

Because of the lacking of our properly caring for and teaching our women, the number of women who truly respect themselves and recognize their great worth, is very diminutive. This in turn allows the negative male behaviors to flourish, as those behaviors are accepted by these women who do not demand better from the men. And the cycle continues, as then the next generation of children grow up seeing a bad example of how they believe that a male and female should interact.

These cycles must stop, and the only way for them to is for us to start the change. The men must realize their faults in objectifying women, and begin to treat them with love and respect. The women must stop putting up with this bad behavior, and demand better for themselves. We owe this not only to ourselves, but our posterity. Our sons and daughters are watching our every move. They will learn either good or bad habits from us. Their society is being shaped by our actions now.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 12:39 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.